Overcoming Shy Bladder Group Class (Online Via Zoom)
For 15 years I suffered with Shy Bladder - the inability to pee in public restrooms or when other people were anywhere close to me. At times even, I felt excruciating pain having to go so bad, but because others were nearby, I just couldn’t go. I felt like I was the only one experiencing this nightmare and I felt terrified of anyone else finding out that I had this issue. It was such a distressing experience for me that I remember thinking that if I had a genie with 3 wishes, getting rid of Shy Bladder would be at the top of the list.
I am immensely grateful to be able to share that I did discover a way of overcoming Shy Bladder. I discovered how to learn to feel safe to let my body release and do what it naturally is designed to do. No more hiding, no more obsessively planning ahead, no more avoidance patterns around the bathroom - just living my life freed from ever having to worry about not being able to pee.
I’m Jack Rubin, a licensed therapist, and it is one of my highest passions to help others find this same freedom for themselves. I am here to tell you that it is possible to overcome this issue and to help you learn how to do this.
I will be authentic when I say it doesn’t happen overnight, but if you are committed to the process you can overcome this.
What is Shy Bladder?
Shy Bladder (also called paruresis, pee shyness, or urination anxiety) is a psychological reaction that prevents people from peeing when others are nearby. People with Shy Bladder typically experience symptoms such as:
Not being able to pee in public restrooms no matter how badly they have to go
Intense fear of being heard or seen using the restroom
Avoiding situations where public restroom use may be necessary (e.g., social situations, travel, or work opportunities)
Drinking less fluids to decrease the need to urinate
Feeling anxious, on-edge, or nervous when thinking about having to use a public restroom
Checking or looking for restrooms that are empty or only have one toilet
Returning to one’s home over lunch breaks or other breaks to urinate
What causes Shy Bladder?
Shy Bladder can be caused by many different things. Some people continuously feel unsafe while using public restrooms when they’re younger and develop it slowly over time. Some begin to experience it because of abuse, assault, or some other traumatic event. And for some the cause is unclear - which can make it feel that much more distressing.
As is the case with many body-based difficulties, Shy Bladder happens when the mind learns to fear the body. Signals of needing to urinate when others are nearby start to create feelings of anxiety, worry, and even panic about not being able to go. Unsuccessful attempts to go lead to experiences of further embarrassment, frustration, and shame. Over time, these things promote a pattern of avoidance that actually makes Shy Bladder worse.
Each time we go along with the pattern, the anxiety grows and grows. You might begin to feel overwhelmed, totally stuck, or even defeated by your shy bladder.
But it doesn’t have to be that way.
How can this group class help with Shy Bladder?
If you are someone who has this debilitating condition, know that you are not alone. Millions of people worldwide are also experiencing this issue. Most of us suffer in silence because we feel tremendous shame and embarrassment around it but the truth of the matter is that one of the most important parts of the healing process is for us to come together to connect about our experiences with Shy Bladder. After working so hard to hide from the world around this problem, to allow ourselves to be seen in a safe and supportive group environment can be one of the most healing steps toward overcoming this issue.
For those dealing with this issue there tends to be a very strong belief that we are the only one dealing with this and that there is something very wrong with ourselves that no one else understands. But these beliefs couldn’t be further from the truth. This class is designed to break down those intensely held beliefs and provide you with a safe space in which to share (if you wish) and hear from others also suffering from Shy Bladder. This begins to break the cycle of shame which is the leading cause of this issue.
In addition, most of us try to overcome this issue all by ourselves without ever connecting with others who have made it to the other side. That’s like trying to learn any very challenging activity without a coach, a guide, or a mentor - it can be a very uphill struggle. In the class I will also be sharing about my story of overcoming this issue, outlining many aspects of the healing process, and answering questions about getting to the other side of Shy Bladder so that you don’t have to figure it out all by yourself.
In this 2 hour class you’ll receive:
A safe space to meet and connect with others who are experiencing this same problem
A detailed account of my story and how I overcame this issue
Education about the prevalence and causes of Shy Bladder
Accounts of various case studies of others who’ve been through and overcome this issue
Exploration of the “snowball effect” - why the issue tends to get worse over time, and the process of reversing this effect toward healing.
An overview of the main steps for overcoming Shy Bladder including an in depth outline of the desensitization/exposure process many have already read about elsewhere
Guidance on how to start to work with yourself to help your body and mind begin to relax and calm down
